Why We’re Not Meant to Figure Out Our Faith Alone

I remember thinking to myself, “I should have this figured out by now.” I’m a 40-year-old woman. Surely by this stage of life I should know how to deal with these things. I shouldn’t need help. I should have it all together.

Have you ever said something similar to yourself?

We tend to put so much pressure on ourselves as women to be able to navigate our faith, our decisions, and the seasons of life we find ourselves in without needing too much help from others.

When things feel unclear, many of us respond by trying harder to work it out ourselves. We think more, pray more, analyse more, and carry the questions in our minds, circling with no answers.

But when you look through Scripture, there are so many examples of how it's in relationship with others that we grow. Nobody ever has it all figured out. Not even the heavy weights of the bible. 

Moses had Jethro.
Ruth had Naomi.
Timothy had Paul.

Again and again we see God using people to shape, guide and strengthen the faith of others. God often forms and develops us through mentoring relationships.

Through conversations.

Through the wisdom and perspective of people who are walking alongside us.

One of the clearest examples of this is found in Exodus 18.

Moses is leading the Israelites and trying to carry the responsibility of solving every dispute among the people. From morning until evening he listens to their problems and makes decisions for them.

When his father-in-law Jethro arrives, he observes what Moses is doing and says something very direct:

"What you are doing is not good." (Exodus 18:17)

Jethro gently explains that if Moses continues this way, he will only wear himself out. Instead, he encourages Moses to share the responsibility and invite others into the process.

Another example we see in Scripture is the relationship between Naomi and Ruth. Ruth had entered a completely unfamiliar season of life. She had lost her husband, left her homeland, and was navigating a new culture and future that felt uncertain. Naomi, having walked through many seasons herself, offered wisdom and guidance as Ruth tried to understand how to move forward. In one moment Naomi gently instructs Ruth on how to approach Boaz and what steps to take next (Ruth 3). Ruth listens and trusts Naomi’s guidance, and that moment becomes a turning point in her story. It’s a simple but powerful reminder that God often uses the wisdom of someone who has walked ahead of us to help guide us through seasons we don’t yet know how to navigate.

There is also the relationship between Eli and the young Samuel. In 1 Samuel 3, Samuel hears a voice calling his name in the night but doesn’t realise that it is God speaking to him. Each time he hears the voice, he runs to Eli thinking it must be him. Eventually Eli recognises what is happening and gently guides Samuel, telling him, “If he calls you again, say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’” With Eli’s guidance, Samuel learns to recognise God’s voice. 

Again, It’s a simple but powerful reminder that sometimes we need someone else to help us recognise God's whispers and to see what He may already be doing in our lives.

Many of the most significant moments of growth in my own faith have come through conversations like that.

Not dramatic moments.

Just thoughtful, honest conversations with someone who had the wisdom and perspective to help me see things more clearly.

These kinds of relationships have always been part of how God shapes His people.

So maybe the real sign of maturity isn’t having everything figured out, but remaining humble enough to keep learning. Again and again in Scripture we see God using the wisdom and perspective of others to guide people through seasons they couldn’t navigate alone. Allowing someone to walk beside us for a time is not a sign of weakness, I think it’s a sign of faith, courage and a genuine desire to keep growing.